Sunday, June 24, 2007

Commercial Review: Wood screw is when a treant humps a dryad.

So I've been watching the recent Alltell commercials. The ones where the kids from the "other companies" drag Our Hero into a dirty van and threaten him in various, supposedly dorky ways. I'll admit it was kinda funny when they pinched him and when he responded with understandable confusion they threatened "there's more where that came from."

Then they made a commercial where Our Hero "tricks" the Other Guys into admitting they play Dungeons and Dragons by asking them a question about dungeon master levels. Of course, as a DnD player myself I was less than impressed since very few DnD players make any attempt to hide the fact. Apparently even the people who made this commercial realize that, given the Other Guys' eagerness to call Our Hero on his lack of DnD knowledge. Which really makes me wonder what the point of this commercial was.

And then there was the most recent commercial where Our Hero is once again threatened, this time by the Sprint Fatty promising to "beat you with a tube sock full of wood screws" and responding to the confused stares with "my father's a carpenter." As a person whose father is ALSO a contractor I had no idea thta having a relative in construction was supposed to be dorky. Instead my first thought was something along the lines of "oh, shit, that would HURT."

Dear Alltell Advertisers: if you're not sure what a dork actually acts like stop making commercials about cool kids being threatened in the Mystery Machine and visit the supernerds you have peddling phones in your stores.

Annotation from The Future:

Sadly, as far as I know, the last commercial I mentioned here was the end of the "threatening the cool kid" line of ads. Looking back on it now I actually wish it would've gone on a bit longer. I would like to have seen just how retarded Alltell's advertisers were willing to get.

Oh well, at least we got to see Verizon make fools of themselves.

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