Now that I intend to turn this into a serious review blog, I'm going to be phasing out a lot of the old weird stuff. I'll be deleting the nonsense rants, and reviews that are good enough will be cleaned up and reposted, like this one.
Don't worry, you won't be too deluged with repetition. My current plan is, for each of the four blog posts you'll get in an average month, to make one repost, one Power Rangers, and two new posts.
Anyway, enjoy reliving this very old, very trashy game!
Anyone who's spent time around geeks quickly grows used to dealing with hyperbole. Rarely will a gamer describe a video game as being average. If they like it it's not good, it's TOTALLY AWESOME and likewise if they don't like it it's not bad, it's COMPLETE CRAP. The point is, geeks can be very critical when it comes to their hobbies, and this leads to a whole lot of "best" or "worst" games ever, a designation which is usually wholly undeserved.
Unlimited SaGa is not such a game. It truly is one of the worst games of all time.
Unfortunately, I can't really provide an accurate review of a whole lot of this game. The reason for this is because I've only played this game for about 5 minutes, 4 minutes of which was taken up by me trying to figure out how to get the game to WORK.
Like most SaGa games you start by selecting from between several main characters. Once that's done you go right into the gameplay! Sorta. You see, you can't actually move around in this game. You start on a map and you see talking heads of the characters for the story. Then you select an area to go to on the map... and then you select another area to go to! At that point you may or may not have another conversation, then you select another area!
When you finally do get into a battle you line up as usual...and then the true screwed up nature of this game is revealed. You see, the creators of this game wisely decided to take out all the tedium of actually trying to play the game. When you fight, all of the commands - attack, defend, special attack, etc. - are placed on a wheel which spins at high speeds. All you have to do is press a button to watch the wheel slowly grind to a halt. This is good because it means you feel no responsibility for failing and watching all of your characters die.
This system has me reeling! Eh? Eh?
The true question is, why do we even have this game? It's bad enough that this game was made, but what made them think we would want to play it? For years the Japanese had 3 more Final Fantasy games then we did, and they still have about 6 more Fire Emblems, 7 more Dragon Warriors, 3 more SaGas, and 2 more Earthbounds (or Mothers if you're a weeaboo nerd) than we do, and those are popular games that people love as evidenced by the massive number of Americans who import those games even though it means trying to play in a language they don't speak.
So why, if Japan keeps the GOOD games, do they send us this garbage? The obvious answer is that they hate us. For more evidence see every game Capcom has ever made. Well, at least they're still our only source for anime and Hello Kitty vibrators.
HORRIBLE
| PROS: | CONS: |
| + 100% asbestos free. | - 100% gameplay free. |
Annotation from The Future:
I wasn't kidding about how long I played this game. I literally only played for about five minutes or so. I didn't even get my character out of the first town before I stopped playing. I know that as a reviewer that's probably not a good thing for me to say (Also, I do usually make a point of having more journalistic integrity than that these days. Usually.) but I'm gonna say it anyway just because I love the fact that even though I barely played it, people who did play the game still tell me I'm absolutely right about it. This game really sucks is what I'm saying.
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